Attention, South Slopers! Not getting your mail? Here’s how to fix that shit in 20 easy steps:
1. Try to look up the phone number for the Van Brunt Station. There isn’t one.
2. Call 1-800-ASK-USPS. 3. Try to wade through the ridiculous menu of options. 4. After you realize that “lodge a complaint” is not an option, pound “0” several times on your key pad.
5. The super-secret customer service option is now unlocked. But first, they need to know what your problem is.
6. Scream, “I’M NOT GETTING MY MAIL” into the phone about 15 times as the computer comes back at you with ridiculous “Did you say?” options that sound nothing like what you said.
- 1. Try to look up the phone number for the Van Brunt Station. There isn’t one.
2. Call 1-800-ASK-USPS. 3. Try to wade through the ridiculous menu of options. 4. After you realize that “lodge a complaint” is not an option, pound “0” several times on your key pad.
5. The super-secret customer service option is now unlocked. But first, they need to know what your problem is.
6. Scream, “I’M NOT GETTING MY MAIL” into the phone about 15 times as the computer comes back at you with ridiculous “Did you say?” options that sound nothing like what you said.
‘So, I Guess You Just Don’t Get Your Mail Anymore If You Live In South Slope?’ It goes on like this for awhile.
